Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize