that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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