Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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