In the future we'll all be gay
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
