in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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