My cat gives me a boner
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
