WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
