Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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