Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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