Pants 0. Shit 1.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
