Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
