Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
