Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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