Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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