It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
