Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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