I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
