everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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