Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
