Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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