i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
