i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
