Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
