You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize