Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
