ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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