Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
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