You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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