Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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