do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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