Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
