when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
