ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
