I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
