Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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