Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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