There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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