When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
