1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
