I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
