just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
