If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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