I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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