i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
