Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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