Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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