You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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