Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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