She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
