it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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