It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
