I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
