My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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