Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
