sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize