and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
