Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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