either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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