Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
