I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
