I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
