she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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