Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
