it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
